You Know You're in Marching Band
by Alix Aurelia
Summary: How to tell you're in marching band. Overdone, I know, but I just had to. Because marching band is awesome.
1. Chapter 1

**Alix: I had to do one, just because I'm in serious marching band withdrawal. Anyways, most of these come from my own experiences, some from other people. Enjoy! Review if you feel like it. **

**DM - Drum Major**

**BD - Band Director**

**You Know You're in Marching Band/Colorguard When…**

Nothing stops you from performing in a parade – neither rain nor freezing temperatures

You call anyone in the band boosters Mom or Dad

You suddenly have 94 new brothers and sisters (well, number depends on the size of the band)

You spend more time with your band family than with your real family

Having a girl run down the band hall yelling "DOES ANYONE HAVE A TAMPON?!" is normal.

You have to phonetically spell a drum major's last name because the announcer can't pronounce it right

You can navigate through the band room with your eyes closed

The Performing Arts Building is your home away from home

You know all the members of your band, what grade they're in, and what they play

You've been to band camp (enough said, really...)

You count how many days there are left before _next year's_ band camp

The drummers aren't the only crazy ones

Everyone laughs when they come out of attention

Everyone laughs when somebody shouts something random (i.e. "CHOCOLATE!")

You've dreamt of chucking Dr. Beat down a flight of stairs

You've had to write an essay on why you shouldn't eat in the Performing Arts Building

You know the danger of any form of sugar at two in the morning

You recognize the drum solo anywhere

You still remember your show even after the season has ended

You've hugged at prop from your show

You dread going to practice, but then you never want to leave once it's done

You can hum your field show in class and other band kids will start humming along

You walk in step with anyone around you subconsciously

You have nothing to do after school once marching season is over

You end up half-memorizing your concert music without thinking about it

You don't _walk_ backwards. You _march_ backwards.

You quote your band director ("You say to yourself: 'Self...'")

You have so many inside jokes – way more than your non-band friends

Being on time means you're early

Being late means you're dead

You argue about which section is better (Tubas vs. Drumline…hmm…that's a toughie…)

You smile at being called a "band geek"

You can sleep anywhere – even in an uncomfortable and loud bus

You know how to change in and out of uniforms – anywhere, anytime

You have a band tan (It's not a farmer's tan, dang it!!!)

Flip-flops are not sandals (flip-flops are a marching drill)

You've done flip-flops while walking across the Golden Gate Bridge

You have dreams that are marching band related

There is a certain song that is cursed – every time you play it, the football team fumbles

You have to play the woodwind solo in front of the woodwind line right after you get your braces on

You cry at graduation because the band and colorguard seniors are leaving

You have so many good luck rituals – from raising your hand and feet in the air when going over railroads to Tootie Tot

You play silly games without getting embarrassed

You've been kidnapped as a part of your freshman/first year initiation

You have so many bruises from your flag, rifle, or sabre

You plan out crazy ideas for shows – like planning of a show themed "The American Revolution"

Said "American Revolution" theme involves your cross-town rivals

You've been hit on the head by a saxophone case

You want to burn Pomp and Circumstance (okay, that's concert band, but still)

You horde random souvenirs from the marching season and NEVER throw them away

"One more time" NEVER means "one more time"

You fit "Ah ooh wah hee ah ho ho ho" to the taps that keep you in step (from Finding Nemo. Remember? Come on, you know you've seen it!)******

You know the "Six Steps to Attention" (feet together, knees unlocked, hips level, shoulders back, chin up, eyes with pride)

You have flag calluses

You can do your hair and make-up anywhere

You find yourself designing flag silks and uniforms in the margins of your homework

You've hit yourself on the head with a flag, rifle or sabre more times than you want to think about

You carry around extra electrical tape (but you call it "Guard tape")

You "smoke reed" (Candace: *has her saxophone reed in her mouth* I have a weed in my mouf!)

"Armed Guard" means a girl with a flag, rather than a guy with a gun

You educate people on the correct terminology ("They not 'guns and swords!' They're 'rifles and sabres!!!'")

You jazz walk/run all the time

You can drop-spin and carry on a conversation at the same time

You steal a bit of flag silk for a souvenir when the season's over

You always step-off with your left foot

Numbers past 8 aren't important

Letters past G aren't important

You prepare to go to attention when anyone says "Set!"

You get blisters from your stupid marching shoes

You make up sound effects for your flag –"FWAH and FWAH and WOOSH!!"

You try to find Drumline cadences on iTunes

You make up weird sayings for Drumline cadences – "I want eggs and my chocolate!"

Sousaphone players wear their bells on their heads and end up looking like Gandalf

The sousaphones play "Iron Man" and "I Like to Move It" at football games

You have to do the guys' hair because they simply don't know how to manage long hair and shakos

You insist on marching, even with a sprained ankle

You get overly excited about new drum heads and sticks (*coughcoughPhilipcough*)

You know what "The Game" is (Aw, nuts, I lost the game…)

You've done about eighty sit-ups and sixty push-ups in one day

You use your music folder to keep your water bottle out of the sun during band camp

You make up your own version of "YMCA" ("It's fun to stay at band C-A-M-P!!")

"Bags of Chips" helps you remember what to bring to competitions

You spend time on keypoulan dot com, listening to his awesome shows

The breathing exercise make you feel like you're having a baby

You know the difference between a "drum hug" and a "tuba hug"

The flutes are always the first ones out in a "See How Long You Can Hold a Note" contest

A trumpet is always the winner of the "See How Long You Can Hold a Note" contest, but only because they cheated

The whole band shares two coolers of ice water during practices

You don't use cups to get water from the coolers – you just squirt it directly into your mouth

You name sets in your show – weird names, mind you…like "Monkey Drumming" and "Chicken Sandwich"

The Woodwinds, Brassline, Drumline, and Colorguard all have their own cheers

You yell "Whoo!" when the DMs or BD says "Top of the Show!"

The BD throws every personal item left behind after a performance in a trash bag and then "auctions" them back to anyone who wants them the next time there's band class

You can have a "pool party" in the fountain at Stanford…

…And splash the BD

You momentarily forget that the band room is the guys' changing room and walk in to see a bunch of shirtless guys

You listen to the judges' tapes and take notes on what they said in your dot book…

…And write meaningless stuff like how the judge commented on the DMs' outfits

You get to miss a whole day of school to help out with the band festival your school hosts

You run laps in time to gain endurance

You begin to say the duts with the Drumline

You learn to crab walk and drop spin even though you're neither in Drumline nor Colorguard

Half time is game time

Apples and water are the best pre-show snack you'll ever have

You get ticked because people don't know how to fold their pants right and you end up having to do it for them

You've been on a bus so long, you start yelling "I'm hungry!" and "I need food!" …

…In Spanish

You are fascinated by the Emo guy you see at a rest stop…

…and actually take pictures of him…

The band boosters give you little snacks and good luck notes the day before a competition

You see video and pictures of your show and think "Boy, aren't we sexy!"

Everyone laughs at your close up in the video of the show

You're mad at the yearbook people for putting the wrong band pictures in the yearbook (It was the previous years! How could they do that??)

You have no time to do homework

You hit your spots on the field without thinking about it

The BD bribes the Drumline into playing with dynamics with pizza...

...And the Drumline plays with dynamics, then writes "Drumline wants pizza...ALL RIGHT!!!" on the BD's car to remind her of the bribe

You know there's a big difference between flags with five-foot poles and six-foot poles (The five-footers just don't swing or toss as well as the six-footers!)

Expressions like "Beware flying drumsticks!" amuse you

You go through "marching band withdrawal"

You read these and laugh to yourself because many (if not all) of these apply to you

**** The taps would fall on the "ah, wah, and ah." Try it out. It actually works.**


	2. Chapter 2

**You Know You're in Marching Band/Colorguard When… (Part 2)**

Everything is a tuba when you play Pictionary (Tim: It's a TUBA!)

"Ring Around the Rosie" becomes "Ring Around the Tuba"

Hotels are for eating insane amounts of junk food instead of sleeping

You insist you're not crazy…just dedicated to insanity (because marching band is insanity)

The BD knows where you work

You can't use work as an excuse to get out of a parade…

…because the BD will just make the bus stop where you work and drag you out so you can perform in the parade (true story…)

You're not in band any more, but you still want to go to attention when you hear "Set! Band Ten Hut!"

You visit a competition as an Alumni and you get all excited and hyper and wish you were performing instead of just watching

You scream obnoxiously for your old band when they march on and off the field

Your BD makes you do random things in class – like balance your music folder on your pencil

Upperclassmen bug you about who you like all the way to a competition

Everyone is crying because the band FINALLY wins third at Championships

You get in a fight with a music stand and lose

You watch Pirates of the Caribbean and think that Will Turner should be in colorguard when he tosses Norrington's sword in the beginning

You look up to see a bunch of guys chasing a mouse around the band room

You still have to educate people on the correct terminology. ("We don't twirl! We SPIN!")

You watch in trepidation as the guard instructors demonstrate the flag feature they want you to learn…

…And name it "The Flag Feature of DOOM!"

You run back to your spot when the BD says, "Reset!"

You totally fake play at the last parade because you didn't memorize the music

A tuba forgets his mouth piece for a performance

You're allowed to "mummify" your BD with toilet paper at the Band Camp Overnighter

Your band decides they need to put a band member on the yearbook staff because they still don't know how to put the right band pictures in the yearbook

Your BD thinks that band is the most important thing in school

You have to say the color of your underwear when introducing yourself to the rest of the band

Tired colorguard members are lying on the floor and band members decide to play hopscotch over them

It's hot and your BD says "I'm totally craving Otter Pops right now. I'm gonna go home and eat a bunch. And I'm not sharing."

You hear a brass member shout, "Does anyone have valve oil?"

Your BD says stuff like "Have no fear, pizza is near" …

…And "Shop of the Tow" instead of "Top of the Show"

You hit the guard instructor in the head with your flag (either on accident or intentionally… one of those two…)

**Alix: I thought of a bit more for ya. Hope you enjoy!**


End file.
